Balancing personalities

The other day I thought about a time where I was faced with a major problem at the office, for which a solution had to be presented before the end of that week. I was trying to figure it out on my own, but time was running out and I wasn’t anywhere close to coming up with viable solutions. My immediate response was to do it by myself, partly because I thought it would make me look good (which was so vain now that I think about it), but mainly because I did not want to deal with my peers. All those different personalities, some of them difficult to deal with; I just was not in the mood. Eventually when I realized that I would have no choice, I approached my colleagues for assistance. We were able to come up with some ideas that made sense and put together a sound presentation for our superiors. It took a lot of effort but the work got done and that was most important.

Is this a situation with which you are familiar? Have you found yourself avoiding team settings at the workplace specifically because you just cannot work with certain people? You are definitely not alone. We all meet people with whom we do not get along, and many times they work with us or report to us or are our bosses. There is such a broad spectrum for classifying difficult people, but I chose to group them into three categories:

1. The Pest
2. The Grouch
3. The Know-It-All/Stubborn One

Here are some tips on how to deal with these types of personalities at the office to ensure that you get the job done all while still being cordial.

1. The Pest. “Ughhhh!” is your first response when you see them calling or an email pops in from them. These are the people who send in requests and follow up half an hour later to see how far you have reached. Or they ask several people on one team for assistance for the same thing. They are borderline unbearable until you finally fulfill their request. How do you deal with these people? You have to be patient. Always remember that everyone is your customer and their requests are valid when they start to get on your nerves. They are deserving of your assistance and time. When you start from that place it helps you to look beyond the nuisance of it all and just give them what they need. If you have the time, and you can realistically make their request a priority, by all means do so. You already have a lot on your plate as it is. It doesn’t help for someone to be on your back all the time and add to your stress. Give them what they need so you can move on with your other work. If the pest happens to be your boss (bummer), there is very little you can do about that other than work as smartly as possible. Keep them in the loop about your assignments and ensure that they have a schedule of when you will complete them. You can even give them a copy of that schedule if possible so that they know when they can check in with you on whichever task. People who are pests tend to be like that more than likely due to a lack of trust. They do not trust that they will get anything done unless they constantly follow up maybe because of prior experiences. With those things in mind, build up their trust by completing their tasks when you say you will, or as quickly as possible, and keep them abreast of your progress.
2. The Grouch. This colleague or client generally gives a negative vibe or is constantly upset when you interact with them. You ask them to assist you with something and you get a passive aggressive response. They make a query and every contribution they make to the conversation has negative undertones. It is mentally draining dealing with them. Timing is everything with colleagues. Even grouches have good days and you can usually learn how and when to approach these persons. Maybe they are more approachable in the afternoon after lunch. Or maybe first thing in the morning. Try to time when they will be in a better mood. Keep the conversation and or request light and specific so that you do not spend too much time interacting with them. Follow up via email if you can as opposed to having a face to face conversation. Make use of these strategies to deal with your grumpier colleagues. With respect to clients, you will not really get a warning until you are faced with the grouchy customer. Do your best to stay calm and cordial and as they say, kill them with kindness. We do not know what people are going through on a daily basis. The pandemic has also made it a particularly stressful time for everyone. Always remember that their negative behaviour, although not excusable, is often not directed to you. They may be having a rough day, or just got a ticket or some bad news and you were their next stop. Listen to their request and be as helpful as you can.
3. The Know-It-All/Stubborn One. Whew. This is a tough personality to deal with because sometimes you can’t even get a word in. You may have been put together on a team with them and they try to take over everything without allowing others to contribute. They are unable to take constructive criticism or suggestions outside of their own. The Know-It-All client always has a better solution than you to their situation. They need assistance but can always give you a tip. Very aggravating. The best strategy I would suggest is to allow them to make their contributions – this is what makes them feel good. After they have, ask them to consider your options making sure not to insult their suggestions, even if they may not have been useful. At the very least acknowledge what they have said so they feel heard. In so doing, once they recognize that you are listening, they will be more inclined to work with you or in the case of the customer, be clear on what they need from you.

Dealing with different personalities is a challenge. Being prepared and having a strategy for each type will make it that much easier to get the work done. Good luck!

#PeritusSundays #Perituscanhelp #balance #personalities #hrtips